how to be yourself

How to be Yourself

I’m not sure if any of you have ever had the kind of friends who basically have the attitude of “everyone is dying, we’re just living and maintaining until we die” but I’ve had quite a few, and let me tell you just how depressing of a person that is to be around. It’s not just the fact that they use that as an excuse to feel like be a perpetual victim and to not want to excel in any part of life, but the fact that they feel comfortable with this mindset of being a perpetual victim.

Existence is something people have become content with, it’s an issue I have discussed on here a few times, but an even bigger issue is starting to become people not knowing why they fee like they don’t have their own identity, like they don’t belong and are just trying to find out how to survive. I’ve struggled with this issue myself in the past, and one of the main things I’ve been able to hammer it down to in people is that a lot of times, those who are insecure or less confident try to live their lives the way other people do (or at least, claim they do).

This brings up a huge issue in people who find themselves 1) Not believing in themselves because they can’t live up to the expectations that someone else has set for their own life, or 2) Believing they can better themselves if they just act like the person they’re currently idolizing, causing them to lose sight of themselves. Both of these can be tremendously detrimental and throw you off track in life.

Everything isn’t for everyone – I want to be in the top 3 of the Forbes list one day, a goal I’ve held since a child. It’ll take massive amounts of obsession and dedication but I believe I can do it, and when I first heard people try to downplay the idea I was confused. I wasn’t sure if it was because they didn’t feel like they could do it or what, but either way I found out eventually that they were the type of people who didn’t want to. At first I’m thinking to myself “How could you not want to be wealthy and powerful? I don’t care if you think you can do it or not, why would you not want to?” and it was that type of thing that made me realize that everyone doesn’t want or need the same things out of life.

Everyone doesn’t have the ambition to be at the top, some people are just satisfied with being content and having just enough to cover their living expenses and do whatever else minimal wants they have. As harsh as it sounds, not everyone is smart, strong, or attractive enough to get what they want out of life even if they did. There will always need to be losers as long as there are winners, the world is like a big ocean and the shark eat the little fish, this is a fact of life.

Even with these types of people though, there is a great amount of differing interests. What may make some people feel excited and alive, others may find boring or not worth the time. I feel the latter way about things like amusement parks and sports games/concerts, but I feel the former at a time of receiving income or finally finishing a project I’m working on.

Different strokes for different folks, and you have to remember to find out what makes you feel alive and what makes you feel happy, and don’t do what others are doing just because you want to be like them. At the very least if you will try to follow in someone else’s footsteps, make sure you wear your own shoes when you step into the footprints.

You will never completely be like someone else no matter what on earth you try to do, you can only try, but at the end of the day when you look in the mirror and see yourself instead of who you want to be, wouldn’t you rather be happy than sad? Wouldn’t you rather be proud of yourself rather than ashamed because you aren’t someone else?

One thing that people have to remember with the mass amount of self help and advice out there when it comes to health, wealth, relationships and all of those types of things, is that no one who is writing any of that stuff knows 100% how you feel on any topic or how anything affects you.

This is something that I have to try to make sense of to my consulting/coaching clients (for more info on that you can contact me through here) quite frequently, but they usually take it as “You should take my advice with a grain of salt” (not what I mean) instead of “You should take my advice and tailor it to fit your own life and mind state” (exactly what I mean). No one on earth can feel pain (mentally or physically) in the exact same way you do, no one can truly know how each and every situation in your life will affect you, so you can never find yourself being successful trying to be someone else.

It took me a while to realize this, but it was ultimately what convinced me to get starting consulting/coaching in the first place, I realize that out of all the information I had absorbed very few made it clear that you had to take the info and make it work for you, and not the opposite. I don’t know if it’s something that isn’t commonly thought about, or just a ploy to keep their readers on the hook for more content but it isn’t a tactic I could find myself using.

At the end of the day, if you allow yourself to merely be a clone or a shadow of someone else you will always find yourself simply existing. Just getting by will likely give you the same effect, but at the end of the day you will never truly feel like you are “Living” until you start being motivated to take your life into your own hands, and start doing the things that afford you progress in your life. You can take advice, you can take suggestions, direction whatever you want to call it – but none of it will matter if you can’t make the information work for you.


For more on how to start living more and end the dreaded feeling of a slow day-to-day existence, check out my book CONTROL and be on the lookout for my next project, The Book of Life, which will be available for pre-order soon!