Have you ever wondered what you were put here for?
Barring all religious and cosmic connections you may make to try to concoct an easy answer to the question, this is something that has been gnawing away at me for a while in life.
It’s not even on a depressed, not wanting to be here type of level – I just genuinely wonder what I’m supposed to be doing here. The worst part about the whole situations is that I’m not stuck on the proverbial ‘hamster wheel’ right now, no dead end job, no living paycheck to paycheck, none of that.
I actually have many a reason to walk around with a cheshire cat smile without a problem in the world, which I do to some extent, but still something just feels…. empty, for some reason.
You ever felt like an empty shell? Like… a suit of armor, tough exterior but inside you’re bare?
I’ve talked about it before, but I’ve felt different from common society for most of my life. I’ve always viewed myself as an unorthodox individual, somehow I’ve always found it easy to analyze and read other people but I’ve never been too good at connecting with them.
There’s a method to my madness….. and my misanthropy.
Since a child I’ve never really found joy in the simple pleasures of life. The things that I actually like are very few, and as time goes on even that list seems to wane. It’s weird but I feel like experiencing the pleasures of life I actually like is like described effect of a vaccine – I experience it, get desensitized to it, and then after a while I don’t even feel anything anymore.
One of the few things I’ve been able to maintain my affinity for it money. I love the feeling of making money, I love the security it brings me knowing I can do the things that I want to do, but at the same time I feel shallow for it. It’s just a rectangular cotton-linen mixture that has been placed upon us as the default bartering system for goods and the necessities to maintain human life. I know, sort of a pessimistic way of looking at it right?
I used to be one of those “how can you be a millionaire and still be depressed” types of people (I had always figured when I get rich enough to get everything I ever wanted, how could I ever end up being depressed?) but now I’m starting to realize how dumb that sounded.
I’ve written a blog post regarding this topic before actually, “Why Money Doesn’t Buy Happiness”.
I can already visualize myself getting to the point where I have so much money that I’m bored with it. People might say stuff like “If I had millions I would never be depressed herp dep I’ma just keep buying shit” and my response to that is always “Ok…. that’s you.”
When it comes to things like goals, accomplishments, happiness, you have to understand that everyone has a unique frame that they see these things in based on their own life experiences.
Ed Latimore actually has a great post on The Pursuit of Happiness.
It’s sort of like the “Ideological Lens,” their perception of things like emotions, feelings and things of that nature are formed by their upbringing and environment. You can’t hate someone else for seeing things a different way than you do and treating the world differently than you do, that’s what virtue signaling sjw’s spend all their time on the internet doing now.
Happiness for a lot of people isn’t an overarching emotion or attitude, it’s more like a reaction to certain things or a temporary mood. Some people have the ability to be positive and optimistic about everything in life no matter what happens, kudos to those that have this ability, but for many it’s something that is here one moment and gone the next.
You’re more likely to spend more time pursuing happiness than actually being happy – life is full of obstacles, haymakers, and walls to impede your progress. Throughout all of this it may be hard to ascertain your purpose, what you’re actually here for. You may be like me and feel like an empty shell, just going along.
One question that randomly hit me in the middle of this introspection, was do I want my children to come into this world having to struggle for anything? Shouldn’t I want them to come into this world and have to want for not, so I can at least die knowing my family is secure?
Generational wealth is one of the most overlooked aspects of economics in most discussion, from my observation. Generational wealth is the reason why some of the wealthiest families today are where they’re at, they made a lot of money and passed it to their children, who repeated the cycle.
In all this I figured out at the very least, my bare minimum purpose – if nothing really excites or gives me joy anymore other than money, I should make as much of it as I can so I can set my family up to be able to get everything they dream and more.
Some people may realize their purpose is to be charitable and extend this to looking out for others as well as their family, this is fine. Different strokes for different folks.
I say all the time that you are the most important person to you, but eventually you will come face to face with someone you will find even more important to you than yourself – your child. Your lineage, your legacy, the fruits of your labor, they will one day become the rest of your life.
At the end of the day, whether I love the world or hate it, my happiness is dependent on me. I had a habit in the past of being codependent and letting my happiness be contingent on my relationships with others, but I’ve been able to get over that.
I had to realize that if I was basing my happiness on other humans who, according to basic human nature, are inherently selfish, I was putting myself in an unpredictable situation.
Figure out what makes you happy. Figure out why you’re here, but don’t let the limited amount of time you have on earth be wasted and lose a grip on your life.