What is Dominance you might ask? Am I referring to the mindset or dominance through sexual encounters? Well, eventually I’ll get to the latter, but today I’ll focus on the former and how you can develop a Dominant Demeanor with the power to take control of the word around you and make things happen on his own terms. Many people don’t think they have the power, skill or will to be more dominant, but today I’m going to show you how even the wimpiest of wimps can do so – and it will greatly improve their life.
Now let me stress before I start this, there is a HUGE difference in being Dominant and having confidence, and Cockiness with a bit of inflated ego – the former will net you contacts, business opportunities and such while the latter will only ruin your relationships both with people, and any money coming in as well.
Dominance through Demeanor
So what exactly am I referring to when I say Dominance Through Demeanor? I’m referring to a natural/refined sense of Dominance and Confidence that shines through only when you have the mindset that you will be somebody one day – if you aren’t already. You have an aura surrounding you that no one can break, an unshakable demeanor of high self value and class. Your self worth is duly noted in your everyday efforts – you take shots and cracks at your armor, but you will never let it affect you due to your fortitude.
Dominance cannot be faked. If you try, you will look like an egotistical asshole that doesn’t garner much attention or have many friends.
Dominance is a demeanor, an attitude, a mindset – it is not an act. You can attempt to act more dominant, but you will likely do it in the wrong ways and make yourself end up looking foolish.
Dominance cannot be simply taught – and I know you may read that and think “Well you’re trying to teach me Dominance Jordan!” I know this, however I am saying dominance cannot be simply taught for a reason – you cannot go read a few books and articles and take a “gaming coach” course on dominance and expect to be 10x the man you are today tomorrow.
Dominance must be learned through experience, trial and error will work here to a certain extent but you are looking to make sure that you don’t come off as either an Insecure Wannabe Alpha, or as being overtly aggressive in your pursuits. If you are fake, people will see right through you.
Dominance starts with YOU – many people will try to be dominant towards others or assert their dominance on any who oppose them, but are not comfortable with themselves. They don’t dominant or control their own mindframe, they are not in complete control of their own life and own free will – but want to have the control of another’s?
Yea, these are the same people you see getting into fights they can’t win, getting rejected by women that can smell the fear on them, getting bullied by coworkers because they don’t have the confidence in themselves to assert their dominance.
Unnatural Dominance is a facade that many people will be able to see through, and it will in turn be perceived as fakeness, being an act, being rude and a host of other emotions. I too, know how it is to fake being dominant – and it cost me both a friend and a plate or two in the past.
I was so stuck on this idea that “Oh if I just tell people around me what to do they’ll just do it and everyone will know I’m dominant. Everyone will see, everyone will adapt and it’ll be like a food chain with me at the top of it.”
I was wrong.
Assert Your Dominance
If dominance is new to you I don’t recommend going out and testing it with aggressive displays of Bravado or anything of the sort. If you don’t have confidence in yourself and the knowledge and ability to be dominant, you need to build it in small steps.
Make the time in your day, Go somewhere in public today (grocery store, mall etc) and make a conscious effort to start talking to people, people you don’t know. You need to defeat your own approach anxiety – as this likely keeps you from closing the deal or going in for the kill. Beating approach anxiety will help you the most with women but it works for people in general too, as Dominant men don’t find themselves stressing minor things like
“Will this girl like me?”
“Will they try to play me if I go up and start speaking?”
No, they go up, and they introduce themselves like the Dominant motherfucker they are, they get shit done and they leave.
If it’s a new business contact? “They’ve likely heard of me, and if not I know I can spin them into both trusting and believing in me, it’s not hard.”
If it’s a girl? “New plate alert, but hey even if there’s something wrong with her and for some reason she’s not interested, there’s an abundance of women in here to talk to – any one of them would be lucky to have me.”
Dominance comes from within, meaning if you are confident in yourself and dominant over your own mindset, how can you expect to do it to someone else? Dominance is about having pride in yourself and not worrying about what others think – after all, you’re here to learn how to be dominant, and always worrying about other people’s opinions is a submissive trait.
In the real world, you will have to interact with people you don’t know on a daily basis. A Dominant Demeanor comes from confidence, and if you are confidence in both your own self worth and value and your ability to both talk to, and connect to other people – you will have no problem asserting your dominance around those you are familiar with.
Is It Me?
One problem with people looking to develop and assert their dominance is that they can’t identify the reason why they are submissive in the first place. You need to identify, isolate and improve upon your weaknesses, so they aren’t the bullets in the gun taking shots at your character – physically or psychologically.
Many people aren’t dominant because they don’t believe they can be. They are pushed around by their co-workers, their family and friends – hell even wives and girlfriends.
These are the type of people I am speaking to, the wimps, the nerds, the hungry and tired, the ones that feel like they can’t get the most out of life, that feel like they’ve been handed a plate of shit to eat while everyone around them has steak and lobster on their plate.
So you are the problem?
You need to become Dominant towards yourself before you can become Dominant towards anyone else.
You need to build discipline in your life, that is the main way to dominate yourself, and in turn the people around you. You need to establish sometime of life changing, productive regimen and stick with it, after which you will find disciplining yourself to be much easier.
I cannot stress enough how important physical fitness is, and you should be dedicating at least a half hour-an hour a day to exercise – after all what’s the best way to feel more confident in yourself and Dominant with the world than sculpting your stature into the body of a greek god?
You must improve your confidence, you must feel a high sense of self worth, you must recognize that you have a value to offer this world that no one else possibly can.
You must find this value, and you must use it to your utmost advantage.
Once you become comfortable with and familiar with the idea of Dominance, you will approach life with a monk like coolness and confidence, you will have the mindset that whatever life throws at you – you will throw right back tenfold.
You need to focus on increasing your own self worth and value, your happiness and comfortability with your own self.
Maybe you don’t feel comfortable with the way you dress? Reinvent Your Wardrobe and never have your clothes be the reason you didn’t close a deal or get the girl!
Maybe you don’t know why people don’t see you as likeable, friendly or sociable (as contrary to popular belief, dominant people are very well liked due to their ability to get things done with no bullshit) – whatever the case may be, your Hygiene and Fit may play a big part of it.
Whatever the case may be, it is always possible to change yourself from a passive aggressive loser, to a full fledged Dominant, “Alpha Male” Badass capable of turning heads and taking names.
But how do I actually BECOME Dominant?
There is a common misconception that to be dominant, means to do whatever you want, when you want and when questioned on it just Assert Your Dominance!
This advice is wrong and will likely find you doing things like being too aggressive with people or overexerting yourself when it comes to women.
To be confident means to know your strengths and weaknesses and downplay the weak while in turn exemplifying your strength. It is a smooth swagger that is either natural or learned through experience, it cannot be taught.
Dominance means that you have the confidence to know that wherever you go, whatever you do you have a High Sense of Self Worth and Self Value that cannot be depleted.
It means that your Approach Anxiety has been beaten and that you are confident enough in yourself to know that whatever happens, you have a plethora of other options waiting to be your selection – this is when it comes to business, women, friendships etc.
Dominance is building yourself up through self confidence, self worth – and when you have this confidence letting it shine bright through your actions, your mindset, your swagger and demeanor.
Personal Domination comes first – If you don’t believe that you are unique, you have a challenge in this limited life to live the best life you can and be the best you you can be, there is no way you can assert dominance in the world.
Dominance is an internal-external factor, when you become used to dealing with the weak, hollow criticism of emotion, the blinding depression of pain, the agony of despair – you can deal with it in other people, you can identify it easier in the ones you don’t need to stay friends with, and you can take control over your life without worrying about “friends” or anything of the sort anchoring you down.