p style=”text-align: center;”>“Haters don’t really hate you, they hate themselves;
because you’re a reflection of what they wish to be”
Success comes from within – they can’t define it for you
Many people will try to define success personally for you. They’ll tell you you need a certain amount of money to be successful, or they’ll tell you you need to own your own business, you need the perfect woman (or usually, women) or something of the sort. While I will say that I believe financial stability and security play a big part in determining your level of success, the matter is strictly personal. I’ve seen some of the most average people be the happiest, and in their mind they are one of the most successful people in the world. Why?
They are doing what they love, they have financial security, they are happy and optimistic, they are sociable and liked in their engagements with people – and these are just a few of the things that can lead to someone having personal success.
Success is a goal for everyone, that everyone sets for themselves but very few personally achieve. However, many people don’t reach a level of comfortable success in their mind, as their views of the concept have been so inflated by the world in which we live in today.
You will never be your favorite rapper, tv/movie actor or athlete – so be the best you possible
I see this problem plague many people today, from the young to the old – imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and the United States is a very flirtatious country. I can admit, I’m not different from the typical person with a celebrity idol. When I was younger I wanted to BE Kobe Bryant, it wasn’t enough to be LIKE him, I wanted to be out there hitting those shots, I wanted to be doing crazy layups and having people scream my name from the crowd. I was out there practicing, telling myself with every shot I hoisted up that bounced off the rim, that I would be shooting those shots over Kobe Bryant one day…
That day never materialized.
Those dreams never were able to manifest themselves into reality.
This never took root in the form of drive and desire, and I’m convinced to this day basketball just wasn’t my lane of success. I have friends that are good enough to the point where they SHOULD be in the NBA, but never got the opportunity to try out. This is an integral part of my point here – there are THOUSANDS upon THOUSANDS of players that should be in the NBA, in the NFL, in MLB.
They aren’t, and they will not be any time soon.
Just because you have a superior skill in a certain field of life does not mean you will be discovered, does not mean you will find yourself in the top 5% of the category, sometimes no matter how much will and desire burns through your core.
This is not an excuse to stop, however you must realize where your skills and passions can be put to best use, and utilize your efforts there. It’s a matter of utilizing valuable time to the best of your abilities. It’s about optimizing time management.
Successful people already have the concept of budgeting down when it comes to money, and they are able to transfer this effectively and easily to budgeting their time. This is why you hear more things about Billionaires reading books on planes during the AM Hours, and less about them watching their favorite TV show at 2 PM.
They want a hand out, but wont offer a hand to help
This can be best explained with the crab mentality – they’ll watch and envy your success, and at any chance they get will break you down, just to bring you down to their own, despair and agony filled position in life. This reminds me of an important conversation me and IllimitableMan had on twitter a week ago.
To losers nothing’s their fault, they rationalise their inferiority by shifting blame to those they’re jealous of, pathetic @WallStPlayboys
— Illimitable Man (@IllimitableMan)
When you start upon your path to success you will find you are met with varying reactions from the people around you:
Some will be happy for you, they will see if there is anything that they can do to help you and expect nothing in return (while this may be hard to gauge, you will be able to differentiate those who have ulterior motives – especially when money is involved.
These are the ones you keep around, they are genuinely happy for your success and they wish to be in your position, but realize they can be in a position similar to yours and are willing to work to get there.
On the other hand you will find those that envy you and are jealous, and it will shine through in their words and actions. You will notice their increasing distance from you, unless you’re giving them something. You will notice their reluctance to help you, and their excuse will usually be something about how much better you’re doing than them. You will likely hear about it in their conversations with other people, as if you are a likable and successful person people will more likely gravitate towards you anyway – and the envious have a hard time keeping their jealousy internal.
But the hate will still seep through the cracks, the Alpha Wolf of the pack must always face competition from a Beta wolf looking to usurp the throne to prove his dominance.
So must you.
The hate will come, but you must be smarter. You must not let it rile you, you must not let it cloud your judgement, but it should fuel you. Contrary to popular belief there is usually some truth to criticism/hate, and eventually you get good at differentiating between the personal, egregious nature of attacks and the helpful (though not always intentional) and insightful criticism. Use this to better yourself, and to forge ahead in your pursuits, to strengthen your resolve against any deviation from your path.
It wont be anything personal, usually they don’t even know you personally, but whatever the case may be you must fend off these attacks. You must combat all shots at your character with a sword sharpened by wit and character, you must let the emotions and jealousy of your competitors and inferior go without response until they become a mouse’s whisper in the midst of the roar of a thousand lions, with you at the head of the pack.
Success is a personally attainable goal, most people have some twisted idea in their head of what success is and that’s why they never reach it. This is almost never the reality, and a cornerstone of the psychologically destructive mindsets that are pushed in modern society. You do not need a 6 figure bank account to be successful, you don’t need the biggest house or the newest car.
They help, but you need to figure out personally what success is to you, and how to attain it, and then you can start moving up the ladder in terms of success.