In “Seeing Red: Part 1” I did an overview of my views on relationships and how they are interpreted and viewed today. In this post, I look to expand on certain ideas from that and offer ways to cultivate lasting relationships, focusing on having an mutual understanding and the notion that you are comfortable enough with each other to understand different aspects about each other.
Starting this post off I’d like to offer a little insight from my love life, which you will usually not see me do on this blog (anonymity or not, I’ve always been a secretive accomplishment type person – ergo a lot of close friends don’t know many of the women I’ve fucked) but I feel like it’s a bit necessary to help you understand where these views stem from and why.
Understand The Ladder of Lust
I always group women into one of 3 categories upon 30 seconds of meeting them (in the same way women know whether they will fuck you or not within 30 seconds of meeting you), and this often determines my feelings and actions towards them.
I’m a bit Narcissistic, with a bit of an ego and Dominant Personality Disorder(I’ve read that that’s a real thing but I could be wrong), so I definitely have a high standard with women and don’t waste any time with anyone who is on a lower rung of the ladder.
Acquaintances I never maintain contact with (unless they do) and I very rarely need them for anything in life – they’re just there. This isn’t to say I treat them like shit or anything like that, but I don’t treat them favorably. They get nothing from me and I ask for nothing in return.
Friends are the ones that I actually have a connection with, but it’s either purely platonic, or one of us realizes the interest in the other side isn’t mutual. Remember this part folks, as no matter of PUA teaching out there can teach you how to get every and any woman you want that you come across, don’t fee into the bullshit.
And then on to 1st Place/Plate.
The “plates” as I like to call them, are the various women in my life who I either strictly have sex with, or there is feeling involved (rarely has ever been me, as catching serious romantic feelings for women is an idea I’m numbed to at the moment) on a either side of the spectrum.
There is a difference between being Styrofoam, and being a piece of Fine China, and the main distinction between success and “heartbreak” will be easier to make when in the process of courting.
When dealing with such, it’s important to remember that the way you treat each will determine their mindset in regard to their views in life.
For example, there is a woman that right now is one of my plates, I’ve known her for a few months, and the sex is honestly amazing, something I haven’t been afraid to tell her (contrary to popular belief, gassing her head will in most cases lead to an increase of output and the quality of said output) however, we are both at an understanding about what we are.
She is currently in the talking stage with someone, and I have a Fine China plate that I look at above the rest of my plates (I’ve known her the longer, plus I can honestly say she cares for/loves me more than any of the others).
There are various red flags that Styrofoam’s exhibited while we are fucking that I have found, and while these are all things that can be worked on and changed, I don’t find it necessary to bring it up. It’s not something that needs to be talked about, because our relationship consists of sex, and our friendship outside of that.
If she has any type of feelings she does a good job at keeping them hidden around other people (considering she is talking to someone else though this doesn’t surprise me), and vice versa is true.
Around each other, it’s common to display slight shows of affection and the like, around others you would never suspect a thing. We understand our relationship and it fits both of our needs.
The aforementioned is also true with Fine China, she knows that we are at a level that I do not reach easily with women, and as such is secure in her feelings of our relationship.
She understands that yes, I am young and in no way in the mindset of settling down right now, that right now my main focus in life is on building and maintaining financial stability, that attempting anything close to a relationship would hold me back right now.
She understands that there will be other women that come and go in my life, some (most) I will have sex with, some of them may even bounce around in the 3 Levels of Women for a bit.
She does not need to worry about anyone “stealing” me from her, any other woman coming into my life and making me cut her off, any other woman fucking me good enough to sway me or anything of the like. She knows that it’s entirely possible for me to fuck multitudes of women, and have no desire or urge to even see them afterwards.
Want to know why this works so well?
We have been “talking” for almost a year now, so there are many things she knows that 99% of others don’t, and vice versa with me. We have a mutual understanding about how we feel about each other and the view we see each other with. Said level of understanding is what a lot of you are lacking with the women in your life.
So many men are afraid of confrontation and the woman not being understanding or agreeable with their way of thinking (again, Abundance Mentality people, you always have to realize if things don’t go your way with this person, it will with someone – which isn’t an excuse for any crazy or psychopathic shit).
That is another thing people don’t do nowadays, they don’t put the time in if they feel like it’s worth it, they don’t try to listen to, learn or understand people. They just want their nut and to find where the next one is coming from.
I will not go all stoic for the sake of trying to seem like I’m some super Alpha, because shit like that never seems real.
Yes, I have caught feelings for women before.
Yes, I have been left/heartbroken (when you’re younger emotions tend to affect you a lot more than when you get older and think more rationally).
Yes, it is still possible (albeit very rare) today for me to catch feelings for a woman, however the techniques described in this series have helped me to properly differentiate between the types of women I meet, to effectively enable me to choose the best options for courting.
Yes, it is possible to be Alpha and Manly and still be in a successful relationship, and be able to show her you care and show affection without being overly emotional and “beta”.
However, saying as a man that you don’t not have feelings, do not catch feelings, that emotion does not stir or move you…. well you sound foolish.
Instead of spending your time trying to reject these notions, instead of implanting the dangerous notion in your head that Long Term Relationships are all bad, will all end up in heartbreak and her taking you money and pride, that all women are out to use you in the end (which is true of a lot, but not all of them), recognize that yes such happens sometimes.
You look at some women and instantly smirk and think “I wonder what it’d be like to stuff my cock into that!”
Sometimes you see a woman and wonder past that, sometimes you might see her and have these thoughts but upon conversation you find yourself interested in the lips on her body above her waist. She might have great personality, she might just stir something inside of you that was long dormant and locked up.
It is OK for this to happen, it is OK to have these feelings and it is OK to harvest and cultivate them into care and compassion for another human being.
What you MUST not do is this – let these emotions control you, cloud your judgement and pride, and lead you to making bad decisions.
What would this be? Let’s look at some examples:
You’re out at dinner with your girlfriend, and you have to go to the bathroom really quickly. Upon returning to your seat, you see another man trying to talk her up, and you even see her smile and laugh and response. Do you?
A: Go over there, start an argument and cause a scene over something that was most likely nothing.
B(ravado): Personally, I would laugh, walk over there and politely smile and say something along the lines of “I’m sorry sir, you look lost, are you looking for a job?” crack a smile and laugh, and hand him my business card.
Such will establish two things about you: You are a man that’s confident in his woman, himself and doesn’t jump to conclusions and emotions, and you view yourself as naturally superior to those around you, especially the cockroach trying to encroach on your territory.
She wants to see that you’re secure in yourself.
She wants to see your Power.
Your Self Discipline.
She wants to be led.
She wants to to feel like you’re a protector, that she looks up to you and in turn you watch over her.
Doing something as the above will most likely elicit a less than favorable response from the cockroach, but you and Fine China can laugh at him later.
Let’s look at another example:
You are out at a bar, party or something of the sort, you see a cute girl eye-fucking you from across the room, but you wait for the right time to approach. You walk up to her, and before you can even utter your best google-based pick up lines, you’re met with something like:
“I have a boyfriend”
“I’m not interested”
or something of the like.
A normal man would take this into consideration in his mind and immediately be met with thoughts of “Maybe I’m not good enough” “Will I actually be able to fuck anything here?” “These girls all look like 9s, my peak is only a 6.5” and other destructive, negative personality traits.
A man with Abundance Mentality quickly realizes that just because the woman in question wasn’t as responsive to you as you’d hoped, that is only 1 of 1000 women in the immediate facility.
“I’m leaving with a hot piece of pussy tonight” is ingrained in his conscious, the doubts do not get a handhold to get a grip on, you feel powerful, you feel Bold, the courage to talk to 5 women all standing within earshot of each other and have the confidence to believe you can get all of them, this is being confident and dominant in yourself, this is the epitome of Unlock Your Bravado.
Let me end this with a personal story to prepare for you Part 3 of Seeing Red.
In college my first Fine China was a woman that, while there is nothing wrong with and I wish her no ill will or have any ill feelings towards her, I used to regret making her such after the fact.
I’ve since taught myself how to deal with said feelings and use them as positive motivation and not as self criticism. However, as the story goes, we were “together” for a good 5 months (and being in college, we basically “lived” with each other which I think contributed to our falling out), and during the 6th I was debating with myself for about a 2 week period about whether to end things with her, however I didn’t. Why?
I didn’t have Abundance Mentality. I wasn’t stricken by oneitis, however I wasn’t too ingrained with the principles of there being many other women out there.
This was before my mindset changed, this was back when I thought white knight tactics were the best way to woo a woman, and while she was the one that initiated with me I wasn’t “The Man” back then and didn’t have an abundance of readily fuckable women at my disposal. I had one or two, but she offered me the most, the most comfort and the most affection out of all.
I was drawn to her.
After said 2 week period she dropped me. I was sad, I didn’t get over it easily at first. Eventually I did get over it but it did take me getting under a couple other women to do so, but the fact remains, she had a multitude of red flags that I should have seen them, that I can easily recognize now in women and use these either to my advantage or to understand which distinction to put women in.
I’m never going to find myself in a situation like that, that’s for sure, and that’s partly because I’m able to identify red flags easily, which I will go over in my next post.
Be sure to leave a comment below with your thoughts as well as any ideas you have for any future posts, you don’t know how important your input is. Also, be sure to follow me on twitter @lordaedonis.
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